Beyond Beyond Beyond
my dog is five years old
he thinks life is changing places because places never stopped changing
he never had his own bed
we all used to make fun of my father like –
he cannot stop
still
be
i don’t know how i find myself in this motion
it’s not by choice
what’s beyond exhaustion?
we arrived late at night
another key to turn – they each have a trick
oh she has style
she as in
whoever’s home this is
as in
whoever has a home
please remember to turn off the boiler after you shower and so on
no bedside lamp, no fan
ok ok
it’s easier to sweat in darkness anyway
once your insides reject coffee how do you even do this?
something about the smell helps strangeness.
is the circumstance in me?
how do you find stillness with these types of cells that can live through anything
if things stop happening they don’t
what’s beyond and how do i find myself in this motion
no one – no one knows
do the insides of my cells know?
are they hydrated are they caffeinated
i never trusted murky water but i drink up
when i sleep my baby knows to face the door
it’s too warm to be this close but there were many nights when we needed the heat of each other’s bodies
he is five years old or something
i’m beyond
these cells move
Credits
Words / Carmen Baltzar
Photography / Carmen Baltzar